Friday, November 13, 2009

Should I Introduce Myself?

...not that I am new to this blog thing, but this is a new blog; and in its newness, I suppose anyone who comes across it should know a little about who I am, what I expect, and my purpose for blogging.

So, who am I?

I hate definitions. I think that one main duty of the human experience is defining things for oneself; that said, I can say what I am, but not with 100% conviction. I know what you see me as, and I can only work in helping you with what you don't see.

I'm a Black woman BUT I certainly do not speak for all Black people, all women, or all Black women; instead, I try to speak to issues surrounding race, gender, together or separate; sexual orientation, activism, human rights.

I am a survivor of sexual assault, but I am not just that. I don't speak for every survivor because no one experience is the same. I do not speak for every Black woman that has been assaulted. Having been victimized, I believe that people make decisions afterward at their own discretion and I never believe that they are stupid, and I realize that in certain situations, some behaviors are rational at the time. Having advocated for other survivors (or "victims"), I definitely hold strong opinions to the point of emotion regarding domestic violence, rape/sexual assault, gender discrimination and all other forms of sexual violence. I am not just a survivor/advocate/counselor; yet, I am all of these things.

I am quite certainly not the poster child for human rights campaigns all around either; however, I do hold my own opinions, fight my own fights, and am never afraid of making that known. I might have some "extreme" viewpoints in the minds of some, but I never seek to offend or oppress anyone, and encourage dialogue. While I am very strong in my beliefs and opinions, I am firm enough in what I believe to be open to attempting to understand other people's opinions.
It's a part of the fight, right?

I am never afraid to say "I don't know". I often times teeter totter between atheism and agnosticism and I am just fine with that; having my own beliefs doesn't mean I hate other people's. I have a genuine admiration for religious people. I just can't...
A lot of my lessons, you'll learn, draw upon religious concepts. And that's cool because, to me, that's the purpose of religion. Remaining labeless works for me because I like to be free and define myself for myself. I certainly don't speak for the non-religious/agnosts/atheists/whatever-else-ists. I hate religious/ideological labels because my mission in life is to define myself for myself. When asked what my religion is, I generally just say "love".

I'm not perfect, and I don't pretend that I am. As a matter of fact, I enjoy knowing where I am lacking and acknowledging my flaws. Sometimes, I just like to shop. Sometimes, I'm just silly. Sometimes, I even go the "da club" and dance to music that is probably less than favorable (though I try to atleast remain in good taste). Sometimes, I just want to have a good time being young, because maybejustmaybe one day, I'll just be having fun trying to be young.

I am a bit of a loner, and have some pretty typical characteristics of my zodiac sign. I'm secure with myself, and have little time for life outside of work and the internet. Sometimes, I hate that characteristic about myself. But...sometimes, what's necessary just is.
Sometimes, my assertive/borderline aggressive personality is very well received; this, coupled with my mysterious nature, attracts people.
I try to be positive, and I believe in love...but people have limits. Remember what Ol' Dirty said...

Example? Hating people being "in my head", but deciding upon becoming reacquainted with the blog universe.

I guess that's a start.
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