Hubbub!

Yes, my life is still very chaotic (as always). And yes, I am working on updates for the blog. If I have any readers left..stick around! You won't regret it. I'll be updating very soon.

Promise.

Elephant by Damien Rice

Contemporary Favorites: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

One of my all-time favorite contemporary films is "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" and I'd be willing to offer that every person who has ever had a failed relationship must see it. Beyond the plot which is unique in itself, I love the utilization of non-linear narration films/series of films (and books - to those of you who know of my utter adoration of "The Time Traveler's Wife"). I find it to be engaging and it really brings me into the plot because I have to make sense of the pieces. The movies that I tend to "favorite" are the ones I own two copies of and at one point or another, watch every night for comfort, and I definitely own two copies of this one.

For an indy film, it has an all star cast: Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Kirsten Dunst, Elijah Wood, Mark Ruffalo, Tom Wilkinson, and David Cross. I love Jim Carrey. I have all of his movies and I think that he is underrated as a "serious" actor versus a comedian. The rest of the cast seem to be a great bunch and I don't feel as though there was forced chemistry between the actors in the film.

Plot. The plot, to me, opens up a realistic-ish sci-fi complication to human romantic relationships - would you "erase" someone from your memory? The story focuses in on Joel and Clementine's relationship and a company that you can pay to have a person permanently removed from your memory. Joel and Clementine have real chemistry, but for multiple reasons (Clementine's reckless spontaneity, Joel's wish-washy emotional unavailability) they just don't work out. It happens to the best of relationships; people are unwilling to grow or change and they lose and, ultimately, realize it is a loss in the 9th inning. The movie shows the erasure of memories from Joel's mind - which is retaliatory to Clementine's erasing him first - and through the unraveling of fussing, detachment, separation and other bad memories come the pleasant memories of the initial infatuation. Once Joel (and the image of Clementine in his memory) realizes that he doesn't want to erase her, he cannot be awakened through the process, and so in his love-sick slumber, they spend the movie hiding in other memories and running away from the machine that will, ultimately, zap his mind and make his life Clementine-free. The plot twist, however, is that..it doesn't.

Being a classic over-thinker, I wondered through this movie if I would be willing to have someone erased from my memory. I highly doubt it, because I'm the person that believes we grow from the experiences that we have with good people and bad people, and our current character depends on our past. Yet, there's always the desire to get rid of someone for good; outside of romantic relationships, who wants to remember negative traumatic events and the people (or animals) leading to them? Who wants to deal with being caught in the cycle of a break-up that just won't break? That's so passe, and we know how I feel about passe-bullshit.

It also has one of my favorite quotes: "I'm not a concept; I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for her own peace of mind -- don't assign me yours."

It's a good one.

Lovely Book Quotes: Sophie's Choice

"I was grateful for that if for nothing else, since my youth, I felt, was at its lowest ebb. At twenty-two, struggling to become some kind of writer, I found that the creative heat which at eighteen had nearly consumed me with its gorgeous, relentless flame had flickered out to a dim pilot light registering little more than a token glow in my breast, or wherever my hungriest aspirations once resided."

I also love when my favorite books double as favorite films.

Keep on Dreaming.

I think I'm back at writer's block. All though, I will say that many times, writer's block is not so much my not having words to say or emotions to express as much as it is not knowing how to appropriately vocalize the thoughts. There are some very specific situations running free through my mind, both conscious and voluntary, and it's beginning to frustrate me (and I definitely don't get to that point very easily). Admittedly, a combination of situations have me feeling discouraged, as though I've been slighted by a few different players in my life. Being the person I am, though, I have no desire to express sentiments to anybody but the parties involved if an opportunity ever presents itself. And so, the writer's block is back to run the show.

I love this song. And on vinyl?..That's what love is.

Be Righteous.

Feeling Uneasy

...and I am. What exactly are you supposed to do after you've jumped over the moon?

Deep Purple Ride

Your kisses taste like the pale violet blues
of midnight on a city street
It reminds me of the Renaissance in Harlem
I move, motivated, migrating to the north
The northernmost point of my affection, directly
Deep, and meaningful, and precise. Black.
Black as in deep, long. Juicy.
And sweet. Honey-like, mellow sounding
Let's take our desire, delight to the Cotton Club,
Beloved.
Let's get dark, darker than the blues
Warmer than jazz dipped in chocolate
Closer.
My soul scats, stronger than Satchmo and Ella,
the near perfection of
Our flavor's motivation enough
for the tangled rhythms of romance.
Let your naked mind paint shaded pictures
of me
with purples undiscovered
and deep strokes.
Our hearts are the art of our own culture
deep
slow
beats.
Our individual dark-skinned selves
a dancing spirit.
A new route, old fashioned
Let's both take the A Train! To
a new root
a revived Renaissance.

Love.

Attempted Double Etheree: Still Writer's Blocked.

Flit.
Not safe,
Yet embracing.
Overwhelming.
Imagination.
Trapped deep inside the mind.
Closed eyes. Deep breath. Vacancy.
Cold outside, damp, dark, and lonely.
Oh, stars, I wonder how you are.
Twinkle twinkle to the jazzy hearts.
Effortless attempts at optimism.
Tick-tock, flying without a safe landing.
Red blushed cheeks fading, gasp but no exhale.
Feel your way through it; naturally.
Confined without a clear thought.
Soulless, whisper to me.
What do I give now?
Listen. Closed eyes.
Supplicate.
Succumb.
Lulled.

It took me three days to get this attempt at a poem out. I'm (obviously) really struggling. Curse this writer's block.

I can't help it.

The other day I was driving and flipping through channels, and landed on this gem. I could have wrecked the car from laughing so much! I guess I was sleep deprived, but I was seriously so very tickled! Enjoy.

...and to think, I almost turned the channel because I was afraid it was genuine Christian country.

The night was...

I'm a movie fan, and I have lots of the most random movies that I've enjoyed throughout the course of my twenty-something years. One of these favorite movies is "Throw Momma From The Train", from which the title for this post was taken. That's right; I might be the only person who actually thought to purchase this move on dvd, might I add, in the year 2000-and-something. In fact, this movie is one of very few that will make me laugh so hard I'm crying every time I watch it.

In this movie, Billy Crystal plays Larry, a failed writer who teaches a class at a community college and in his class is Owen, played by Danny DeVito, a mama's boy who is often downright tormented by Momma. Larry's unhappiness roots to his ex-wife stealing his novel and becoming rich as a result of publishing it...

Owen spent a good bit of the movie begging Larry to read his story, and Larry encourages Owen to see a movie which involves two men swapping potential murder victims to get rid of the alibi. Owen then gets an idea: Owen kills Larry's ex-wife, Larry kill's Owen's Momma. The perfect crime. Now, now; it's quite comical because Larry didn't actually sign up for it. No one is actually murdered.

What brought the film to mind is the fact that throughout it, Larry comes down with an extreme case of writer's block. He sits down at his type writer and writes: "The night was..."

"The night was..."

"The night was..."

"The night was hot, wait no, the night, the night was humid. The night was humid, no wait, hot, hot. The night was hot. The night was hot and wet, wet and hot. The night was wet and hot, hot and wet, wet and hot; that's humid. The night was humid."

For six months this goes on.
This line to begin the book of his, the next chapter of his life, plagued him throughout the course of the movie. In fact, he begins reading Owen's story in class and Owen's story began with "The night was humid" and he abruptly ends class, disgusted.

I want to bang my head against the wall. I have a serious case of writer's block. It's painful to be stuck on "the night was" when I really have the time and motivation to get some good things out; nothing seems to move me right now.

Sigh.

In the final scene of "Throw Momma From The Train", Owen, Larry and Momma are on a train and Larry is giving Owen one last lesson in writing. He explains the writing process and the importance of great beginnings, and Larry ends the thought in pondering, "what do you say, the night was humid or do you say the night was moist?"

Momma interrupted with "The night was sultry." (I nearly die laughing every time I see that scene...starts around 1:32)

Depression

You were incredible for my poetic heart
but forced my growing mind to mend with tear-filled puddles
Depression was, by far, the most consistent aspect of my life
Throughout my life
And it will never rule me
Or ruin me
Again.

I found post that I started a little while ago, but it wasn't finished. I don't think I can, which is ironic; something that consumed so much of my life is now falling under a category that is very characteristic of the non-depressed version of myself: short, sweet, and to the point. I don't know whether to feel silly for not being able to finish writing this "poem" or proud for having no desire to.

Be Righteous.