Way to Go, Whoopi.

I'd like to take the time right now to discuss two separate, but loosely connected issues. As a matter of fact, I will takcle the initial issue in this post and then discuss the separate issue in a post after this one. Ready? Okay!

Whoopi Goldberg. I suppose I should note, for every person incapable of picking up on the subtlety in my sardonic wit, that there is nothing serious in the title of this post.

In 1993, Whoopi Goldberg defended Ted Danson's performing in Blackface. While I don't necessarily remember this event specifically (or caring; I was a kid and this was just before I was tainted by the horrors of the real world), I do remember my catching wind of it when I was a bit more mature and saying "hmm, maybe I shouldn't be supporting someone who thinks that this is okay; whether it's intended to be offensive doesn't really take away from the fact that..it kinda is."

In 2009, I remember officially decided no longer to support Whoopi, as much as I love her (and as beautiful as I think she is - agree or not, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I've always thought she was physically intriguing. Fuck conventionalism). This was because she decided to discuss on The View how Roman Polanski's sexual encounter with a 13 year old kid, who was also under the influence notthatitmatters, was not rape-rape. I remember being outraged and saying aloud, several times, shame on you, Whoopi. Shame on you.

In 2010, I am even more disgusted with Whoopi, after acting as a free-standing character witness for Mel Gibson after his infamous bigoted, misogynistic tirade days ago. Per Whoopi:

"I know Mel, and I know he's not a racist...I have had a long friendship with Mel. You can say he's being a bonehead, but I can't sit and say that he's a racist having spent time with him in my house with my kids. I don't like what he's done, make no mistake."

Well, that's just great Whoopi. I made this point the other day when I was in a heated discussion with a perfect stranger about making anti-gay, anti-black-anti-woman, bigoted comments; how can you expect these issues to be taken seriously if you attempt to defend a person's (alleged, previous) character? Even the most horrible of people have to maintain a social life. How many times have we heard racists say, "I'm not a racist, I have Black friends!" What about homophobes saying, "I don't hate gay people, I know plenty of them!" Or even the friends and family members of domestic violence abusers saying, "my baby would never do anything like that!"

Exactly. Shame on you, Whoopi.

I can't say that I expected more, but she should stop refrain from commenting on issues regarding her famous friends. She's beginning to sound like a whoopie cushion. Hey, I get one corny joke per day.

Revolutionary but Gangsta Grillz (not much of) a review!

I wanted to take some time to do a full review the new mixtape by Dead Prez, entitled "Revolutonary but Gangsta Grillz", but I'm having a difficult time finding enough direction to spit it out. However, I do have three favorite songs that I just love. The general opinion I've heard from people who aren't too far into it is that it isn't typical of Dead Prez because they're trying to blend and fit in with what's trendy. That's not what they are about, but I don't think that I see it as a loss to their original style or message; instead, I think that they're trying to reach the new "hip-pop" generation by putting this out there and I'm not gonna lie, I love that I was able to sit my 12 year old cousin down and say "listen to this song, it's about natural-hair girls!" It's really worth a listen. The mixtape is downloadable for free-99 on a their website! No excuse to let this one pass you by!

The track listing is as follows:

1. "Intro" – 0:33
2. "Far From Over" – 3:36
* Samples from "Over" by Drake
3. "Soul Power" – 3:00
4. "Exhibit M" – 1:45
5. "The Game Is A Battlefield" – 3:21
6. "Malcolm, Garvey, Huey" feat. Divine – 4:39
* Samples from "Beamer, Benz Or Bentley" by Lloyd Banks
* Includes a speech from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
7. "The Beauty Witin" – 3:06
* Samples from "Nothin' On You" by B.o.B.
* Released on Mother's Day, May 9, 2010 as dedication to the natural beauty of black women
8. "KRS-One Speaks" – 0:18
9. "The Movement" – 1:59
10. "Gotta Luv It" – 2:05
11. "Never Turn My Back" – 3:39
12. "Don't Waste It" – 2:52
* Samples from "Wasted" by Gucci Mane[2]
13. "Lil Ghetto Boy$" – 3:02
* Samples from "Lil' Ghetto Boys" by Dr. Dre
14. "Overdose" – 3:13
15. "Fear Not The Revolution" – 2:37
16. "Let The People Be Heard" feat. Estelle – 3:29
17. "RBG 'Til I Die" feat. Zayd Malik - 3:57
18. "Hood News/Struggle Like Us" – 1:52
* Samples from "Swagga Like Us" by T.I. and Jay-Z
19. "The G In Me" feat. Mikeflo - 3:51

And now for my favorite songs, complete with a little blurb on why I enjoy 'em:

I love that the mixtape opened with this song because Drake (from whom the beat of this song is taken) is the newest cancer - every where you turn, you see Jimmy from DeGrassi rapping with Lil Wayne and Young Money and you can't help but wonder 'isn't he Canadian? Where'd his "rap voice" come from?

This song is my absolute favorite! I actually heard this song a few months ago, and apparently, Dead Prez released it on Mother's Day. I love it; everything about this song is perfect to me and I think it's important that there is music and pop(-ish) music that acknowledges the natural beauty of Black characteristics. This is a beautiful and important thing because historically, we were taught to hate ourselves (ask Malcolm...) and while I don't care who's natural and who isn't, it's important for young girls and women to hear that it's okay to be yourself - you're beautiful.

Malcolm, Garvey, Huey. I love this song. I mean, as it is, the "Beamer, Benz and Bentley" song is kind of a "banger", and I love this much better than the original. Besides that, the mixtape has speeches from the aforementioned leaders (and MLK), and it even has a snippet from "A Love Supreme"!

Anyway, again, check it out. It's FREE, and I really enjoyed it!

Be Righteous.

The Banality of Heterosexism

Heterosexism, or the presumption that man-woman relationships are the norm, is a dangerous spirit that haunts the eventual future burial ground of gender-based discrimination. You know how they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions? Well, see…I don’t know about that heaven and hell thing in the literal sense, but there is definitely a metaphorical context that makes the saying true. Think about it: the crazy people that think whatever they do about whatever they do are so moved by their own personal truth, however sick and demented it may sometimes be, that they disregard the fact that their "truth" is, not only largely offensive, but also not believed by the people that they choose to judge using their belief system as the standard.

Does that sound right? Or preachy? It’s definitely far too early on Saturday morning (as I write this) to get preachy. I just know this much: people have to open up and accept the fact that the driving force behind who we are is our own free will. That isn’t specifically to go against any particular set of religious beliefs, though we know my feelings on the matter; but chew on this for a minute: how do we grow into whoever we are without will?

Get this, dear readers – I am on Facebook days ago and I see a status up by a friend of mine that had very apparent heterosexist ideas in it. Now, I’m not one for internet beef (or real life beef, I don’t eat the stuff). I think that shit is so 8th-grade and passé bullshit really isn’t my thing. Though, if I am to have an intelligent and healthy debate, as I do with aforementioned friend regularly, we tend to keep Facebook out of the picture because, to me, it’s so much more personal than a forum, a blog, even twitter. And it got out of hand.

Featured below, m’loves, are screen shots of all the action. The last two comments were not captured before the entire exchange was deleted. My self-diagnosed OCD kicked in and I actually color coded the conversation for your convenience – I am featured in the yellow-gold color. The intention of this post is not to ruin any relationships that I have with any of the people directly or indirectly involved (which is why I even colored out the avatar images). Note: you may have to click the images for a better view of the conversation.

p>

Now, much like the work of Hannah Arendt, I feel that the banality of an individual’s ideas and actions of any sort are lost in the dominating force that is group think. Unfortunately, people think they are enlightened; they think that they believe these things to be true and they have some sort of social advantage (without basis, mind you) over other groups – whether directly or indirectly – because of the overwhelming support they have from other people who believe the same thing. It takes a considerable amount of courage (and, hell, sometimes even insanity) to move away from the wrong ideas you’ve been spoon-fed for lifetimes.

This conversation spilled over to twitter. After it spilled over to twitter, it spilled over to a telephone conversation of my dear talented, passionate(but misguided on this particular topic) friend pleading with me that he is a good person, not a homophobe, that wants to encourage "men" to be "men" - whatever that means and however that should happen. And my entire problem with that is this: far, far too many individuals allow their beautiful individual selves to die within someone else’s definition of who and how they should be. Aside, what makes a man a man? Do you not see the skewed origin of this thought pattern? I have friends, many great people, caught up and torn in the ideas of what the mainstream deems “normal” – and the scariest part is the fervor and depth of their rationalities.

And though some (and not all) people’s ideas of normality – especially in dealing with the banality of heterosexism” or the ignorance of passing, albeit rationalized-to-them, hate speech – is backed by “good intentions, it’s still just another way for a member of the social status quo to further impose their belief system on other people. So, uhh…how else do you approach individuals with good intentions? I mean, besides the inter-technological beating of a dead horse to a pure pulp? You do what I did – email several different educational resources about gender versus biological sex, so-called “gender roles”, heterosexism/homophobia, hate speech and the idea that all people are actually people!

...being a decent human being does not excuse any of this. It doesn't make it less wrong, and it doesn't make my volume against the issue less audible. As I told my friend, if he were anybody - and I do mean anybody - else saying the things that were said, I'd have been just as riled up and vocal about it all.

Be Righteous.

Bigger Than Hip-Hop

Okay, hip-hop. As a music lover and a member of the Black community, I don't feel I can completely turn my back on you. I've often expressed a confused-love-hate relationship of hip hop music as a result of the disrespect that Black women live with in the music and the glorification of certain degrading social situations, but that doesn't make these situations less relevant, prevalent, or invalid as experiences faced within Black culture and the hip-hop listener's community.

I take issue with the idea that there are disingenuous and unauthentic self-claiming hip-hoppers that are being unexamined in terms of, not only the quality of product they are producing, but the accessibility of poor messages to children (which, I know, speaks also to parenting). Some artists don't fail to acknowledge the fact that their audience is 12-15 year old children, and with that acknowledgment comes an uncaring attitude.

There are so many good qualities in hip-hop. Having had my upbringing, I experienced life in different communities. I used to play kick-ball in the street with what seemed to be the kids from "Hey, Arnold!" I got a boom-box for one of my earlier birthdays and it had a double tape-deck, and I sat on the deck during sticky-hot North Carolina summers listening to mix-tapes that I made of singles from the radio. I've always been an over-thinker and I can even recall when my thorough examination and interpretations of music began: I was around ten and had heard an unedited version of "Mo' Money Mo' Problems." And, of course, I figured if they weren't one of George Carlin's 7 Dirty Words, it isn't off limits. I didn't stop to think that there might be a reason the radio bleeps the words out! So, I'm listening to the song in the car with my dad, and I was boppin' my head, proud to know that they sampled Diana Ross's "I'm Coming Out" so perfectly, probably wearing one of those horrid looking jumpsuits worn by Mase and Puffy in the video and giggling with thoughts of "Ma$e Gumble" and "Puffy Woods", and - of course - rhyming to Biggie, and said the phrase "triple beam, lyrical dream - I be that cats you see at all the 'vents bent". Generally, my dad could appreciate my love of music and ability to recite any song after hearing it once; musically minded, I also have a talent at identifying and perfecting pitch. However, also being an early scholar, I hated (and still hate) when people challenge me to make me stupid, as my father did plenty of times growing up. Immediately, he turned the radio down and said, "do you know what a triple beam is?" Well now, I knew it was that thing my teacher taught us about during the science part of our day. Proudly, I told him this. And he explained to me that it is a device used to measure drugs. Truly, this experience might be the reason I question everything to the point of annoyance; I like to know the origin of words and phrases so that I don't mistakenly look buffoonish.

Yet growing up in hip-hop has made me appreciate the things that I can relate to, and even experiences that I cannot because I feel how real they are. Despite what some may tell you, I wasn't born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I've grown through more experiences than a lot of people are privy to; a lot of those situations intersect with old school, new school, and pop-culture hip-hop. However, I also experienced social situations that aren't exactly understood to be what is portrayed as "the Black community" - complete with "talking/acting white" - and I don't think that this invalidates my opinions as a scholar and interpreter of the message or experience.

Since I don't completely have a work-sleep-blog-leisure schedule worked out yet, I tend to catch up on the happenings of the week on Sunday mornings after I get off work. Finally getting around to episodes of The Michael Eric Dyson Show, I was excited to be able to listen to a(/nother) hip-hop discussion. The tail end of the show featured Thomas Chatterton Williams, author of "Losing My Cool: How a Father's Love and 15,000 Books Beat Hip-hop Culture". Now, I don't like to judge a book by it's cover (or title), but...well, just fast forward through all the really informative (and very well stated) stuff about the President and financial regulation and have a listen:

Is Hip-Hop Culturally Valuable?
(I couldn't embed the soundclip, but the link will take you straight to it)

I don't think Mr. Williams' argument was well-rounded enough for the show, and taking task with Jay-Z is not exactly a careful examination of hip-hop culture's realism and societal importance to the minority communities that experience what is spoken about. While I may not like to listen to much of the bullshit music on the radio, I'm more anti-listening-to-the-bullshit-music-on-the-radio-without-proper-interpretative-skills. I don't hate hip-hop, I hate the complacency associated with our culture's allowing such vulgarity and outdated ideas to be recycled and allowed such a substantial influence on how our culture is portrayed. I'm sick of parents not explaining to children what's what. If my dad hadn't challenged me to understand the rhymes I was recycling, would I even be as thorough a thinker as I am now? Granted, I have my own definition of what "real" hip-hop is, but that doesn't discredit the bullshit music and musicians to whom I refuse to listen.

Also, I have a problem with the fact that Mr. Willams is so caught up on Jay-Z and drugs. At one point, he seemed to be heading in the direction of the often blatant disrespect of Black women, but didn't. What about the women in and affected by hip-hop? Have we, yet again, been othered?

Maybe I'll purchase Mr. Williams' book tomorrow, just to hear his argument. It's difficult to read a man in a snippet of the conversation; yet, from what I hear? Bullshit, son.

Be Righteous. And also, be insightful.

Save The Males! *Eye Roll*

This morning began a little disastrously. I woke up to my phone vibrating; it was my aunt calling from outside, needing me to give her truck a jump. She doesn't know how to use cables, so I rolled out of bed, slid on my flip flops, and grabbed my keys. Half asleep, I attached the cables and sat in my truck. The temperature was a lot cooler than I anticipated. Definitely too cool to be outside in my nightdress and flip flops, but I didn't mind. After I finished, I went back inside and debated between breakfast and more sleep, and I chose breakfast. While heating up the skillet, I turned to CNN to catch the last bit of American Morning and, boy, was I in for a treat!

"Save the Male." There's a group of rich white men that are trying to resurrect the "macho" man. Clothing stores are carrying "retrosexual" instead of "metrosexual" ensembles in an effort to bring back "manly" men. Colleges are wanting to teach "male studies" -- which, according to the report, discusses the biology of what makes a member of the male gender what he innately should be: powerful, dominating, and aggressive. They also shared that, in the 60s, life for the American male was so much simpler and as a result, of a higher quality. Things were sooo much better when the man was the head of the household, the breadwinner, the one in charge. Oh, and everything that we are doing in society today is "feminizing" men.

I didn't want to eat after that, because a few things ran through my mind:
1. This is ridiculous. People attempting to define what it means socially to be a man pisses me off as much as (the same) people attempting to define what it means socially to be a woman.
2. The 60s were only "simpler" for white men; Black men were getting hosed and beaten, and even still lynched. Oh, and the attitudes of the 60s also included the justification of beating a woman, since you were in charge and the head of the household. And people want to revert back to that?
3. Are men still whining about not having equal rights when women can't even have full protection and rights to our own bodies in the eyes of the laws, even up to new policies?
4. Who gets to decide what "masculine" actually means? And how? And why?
5. Is this just a way to bash women's empowerment without directly doing it? I can only imagine some paid white dude sitting back with his feet up and smoking a cigar saying, "if we can't get the women to act like 'women'...then we'll just have to be hyper-masculine! That will balance it all out!" followed by an evil laugh.
6. The report uses "machismo", which is supposed to be a negative term for the sexist and/or chauvinistic attitude of some in the Hispanic/Latin/Spanish-speaking world, as a positive modifier.
7. The comments on the American Morning live chat are sick; one dude commented that women in the work force creates a confusion of "roles" in relationships. Seriously?
8. Are the same people in charge of this "movement" also in charge of this whole Tea Party bullshit?
9. I'm sure that the "Male Studies" programs will get more funding than Women's Studies programs. I remember how the programs struggled - at every school I attended. #justsayin

Does this really have to be revisited? This makes me think of an anecdote told to me by an associate of mine:
As a kid, he grew up watching his father run the household as "the man". He witnessed his father being a rolling stone, doing whatever he pleased and coming home. Even, on some occasions, witnessed his father hitting his mother. Fast forward to the years where he was in his youth, guessing at relationships. He recycled the behavior that he saw because he didn't understand that 1. that wasn't the "right" way and 2. even if it was "acceptable" then, it wasn't appropriate for modern times. He used outdated techniques and failed in relationships early on because he didn't see a need for the social evolution in relationships. He was wrong.

I am not a "feminazi", as some would call it. I have strong opinions, I am vocal about them, I don't believe in "roles" in relationships, and I loathe most unneccesary labels.

Why are white men in powerful positions so stuck on how "disadvantaged" they are? What is the matter with accepting new attitudes? Even if it isn't for you, why does it bother you so much that younger men have a different way of life? It makes me sick to my stomach. It doesn't anger me that hetersexual men have "pride", but it does make me want to bang my head against the wall that words and attitudes adopted have an admittedly homophobic and/or sexist undertone; there's no righteous anger in it.

It's all very silly and confusing. So what if a man doesn't know how to do "manly" things like jump a car? I've got cables in the trunk, I can teach him! That's what relationships and human nature should be about.

Sigh. And woosa.

Be Righteous.

Window Seat

Well, I wrote a whole post on the "Window Seat" video, and in expressing my disdain for posting on what the rest of the internet universe was buzzing about, my draft did not save and I lost the post! I don't want to drone on about my opinion of the video, because needless to say -- I love Erykah Badu and I think she's beautiful, deep, and raw. I didn't want to do a post on the video, but I felt like people needed to see it. And if they've avoided Erykah's video until, somehow, stumbling upon my blog...I feel obligated to share. So, there.

I would like to commend Erykah for encouraging dialogue on twitter (yes, I'm following her on twitter) about the true meaning of the video and "group think". As someone who minored in Sociology, I think it's awesome that real artists are willing to try to deliver the message. My favorite part of the video is the dialogue at the end of the video about the assassination of the individual.

Be Righteous.

RIP Sasha

Dear Beyonce,

Thanks for clarifying your intent behind Sasha Fierce (and ultimately murdering her). However, my opinion still stands; too many female stars have to create imagery, and real-life females feel forced to fit into some false dichotomy as a result of the different expectations placed upon us by the entertainment industry (which is arguably fed by real-life expectations - which came first: the chicken or the egg?)...Don't believe me? Have you ever heard a guy say he wants a lady in the street but a freak in the bed? Yeah, me too. Not in Hollywood, in real life. Before Ludacris and Urrrsher.

Be Righteous.

"...the dude that makes family movies?"

I wanted to begin a post entitled "Matters of the Heart, Part Deux", which was to be a follow up to two posts I've done about love and the single Black woman, but decided that it would be premature; the idea is certainly not ripe enough.

Anyway, I woke up this morning listening to Public Enemy, which isn't entirely uncommon for me since I was ten years old or so (I blame my father...that probably says a lot about my overall mentality, hmm?), and I turned to my favorite PE song (Besides "Revolution Generation"), "Burn Hollywood Burn". I love Ice Cube, but listening to the song always makes me think about one episode of The Boondocks.

In The Story of Gangstalicious, some goons snatch up Gangstalicious and his avid stan, Riley and put them in the trunk of a car. Riley is so disappointed to find Gangstalicious is a fraud; he isn't a real gangsta, he just raps about gangsta stuff. While in the trunk, Gangstalicious says to Riley that when he was growing up, Ice Cube was his favorite rapper. Riley says to Gangstalicious, regarding Ice Cube's gangsta, "...the dude that makes family movies?" [Scene at 1:20]

A while ago, I was talking to a guy that disputed the necessity and relevance of Womanism. Much like the post I wrote yesterday on activism, I explained my burning passion for revolution, and he just laughed at me and said that I was immature. That, when you get older, you have to become more conservative, and that being so wound up in convictions is ridiculous.

I know that there are bills to be paid in the real world, and that you have to get money to support yourself and your family. I don't think that means you have to abandon your beliefs in order to do so. So why has Ice Cube done twelve "Are-We-There-Yets" and Flava-Flaaaaaav has that god-awful show?

Am I wrong? Does becoming more conservative = growing up? Is it all just an act because they've already been established? Is it simply all about the benjamins, and not about the message?

In Cube's defense, he had some rightous Black rage back in the day (as did Flava Flav, the world's most famous hype man). It wasn't even just about "gangsta rap"...it was about the message. I mean, the brotha has dropped some gems long before "You Can Do It Put Your Back Into It"...ugggh. What happened?!

I guess it goes back to my major point about entertainment and reality.

Sigh. Be Righteous.

Stand Up To Live

I was recently asked where my interest in activism originated. I never really thought about it, but I replied my thoughts on the fact that, I think, some people are just born with an activist's mind and spirit. I know the things that I am passionate about, and I am very firm in my convictions, but a lot of my beliefs are very different from those of my family members, and even some of my close friends. And they've always been.

I've always been interested in Black leadership and human civil rights. I've always been crazy enough to believe that if enough of us wanted to make change happen, it will happen. I've always believed that if you aren't willing to speak out and against wrongdoing, then you are silently allowing it to happen. I've constantly spoken about my proud roots in nerdom; but I think that intelligence without the willpower to motivate any form of change or without the slightest bit of social labor is meaningless and selfish. Henry David Thoreau said: "How vain is it that you have sat down to write when you have not stood up to live." This is one of my favorite quotes. I love applying it to politics and the rule-makers, especially in the ongoing debate on health care, because many of the people who are in charge don't know the needs of the people because they've not been there. I do think that writing is a beautiful form of activism; blogging is still an evolving process. To inspire people who have traditionally cared little about moving forward in resolving the issues of the world is one of the most fantastic things about the internet. Sure, you have to push past a lot of bullshit before you get down to the good stuff, but it's there and people are, at the very least, becoming advocates in their minds; delivering words of encouragement, motivation, revolution. People should do what they can, and if writing is all that they are able to do, so be it.

In the last year, I met two of my sister-inspirations. On separate occasions, I met SisterLegend Angela Davis and SisterWarrior (heh, I stole that from her) Aishah Shahidah Simmons. Over the course of my life, several other sister-inspirations that aren't "famous"(?) for their social activism have come into my life and I've always been attracted to forcing change and balance into a world that has, for too long, lacked both qualities. Many people don't know that I was considering studying History in school (after my stint as both a Music and Creative Writing Major). I always enjoyed learning about slavery and civil rights in school, and you know what? I've never had a problem arguing with my teacher about the supposed "truth" that they fed me versus what my Dad schooled me on at home.

I wish I could say I developed this spirit in high school or college like most people I know (and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that), but the truth is I've thrown my fist in the air without regard to when and where; I've burned a bra before I wore one. Even though my mother chose to straighten my hair when I was young, I've eternally internally maintained the spirit of my nappy roots (and proved it when I cut my long, straight hair off in high school).

Why should anybody else care to be an activist?

1. It not only helps the people who need it, but it improves the quality of life for people who do not directly benefit from it.
2. It's a challenge, and something that people can commit to for the rest of their lives.
3. For the next generation.
4. For the generation that has yet to be born; who wants to bring children into a world stuck in social desolation?
5. Because Black people/women people/bi-gay-lesbian-trans(sexual AND gendered) people/Immigrants (legal or otherwise)/Native Americans (who were here before any of us)/poor people/abused persons/children/victims of crime/people who are looking to change their lives after committing crime/the religious AND secularists/atheists/religious minorities/any other disadvantaged group of people are still people. It doesn't matter if you "don't agree" or think it's "okay as long as they keep _____ away from you"; disagreeing isn't your business and by contending that someone else can live a certain way as long as you don't have to see it forces people into boxes and closets.
6. It could always get worse.
7. If you allow it to get worse, you could be directly affected.
8. Being complacent in a situation where you have and always directly benefited only makes you a perpetrator of the wrongdoing.
9. If you don't care now, will you care when things get drastically worse?
10. What did the historically disadvantage fight for? For THIS?! Would they be disappointed?
11. The progress that has been made is great, but is it enough?
12. Your great-great-great-grandmothers were slaves , Black people (not even that many "greats" for some people). And white people, you are also related to this slave; you know why? Because your direct great-great-great-grandmothers were nursed by her and your great-great-great-grandfather raped her and had kids with her too.
13. Because people are still discussing whether or not the first Black President is a citizen, only to avoid saying flat out that they don't think he's capable because of his skin color.
14. Because no great movement is a movement of one person; they have to have back-up to move forward against the people who don't want them to.
15. Because there is a Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh.
16. Because far too many people are unaware of their rights!
17. Because the media disproportionately reports crimes occurring to young, single, white, females far more than they report Black women that have gone missing.
18. I know if feels safe to not be involved and not feel obligated to question what is spoon fed to you, but I know seven words that should dissuade any person's complacency: Who is in control of your mind?
19. The "big" movements were not that long ago; my mother was a young child when Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated.
20. We take for granted the little things that we have in life, like clean air and water.
21. The world's natural disasters are scary enough without having to be concerned about whether or not people respect you behind closed doors.
22. To teach someone who "doesn't know better" to feel, think, and act better.
23. Because hate speech motivates hate acts, especially among those who aren't able to distinguish the difference between reality and entertainment.
24. Because if we continue to fight each other, the job of the person that expects failure from us is done without much effort on his/her own part.
25. Because far too much bullshit gets taken seriously (and as such, serious issues are regarded as bullshit and, eventually, ignored).
26. The people who are really in charge (forget all that official stuff) are more concerned about their money than your rights.
27. Because people are ingesting toxic food daily, and fast-food chains and supermarkets are allowing it to happen.
28. All people are still not regarded as equal in the eyes of the law!
29. For the people who have died on death row before advancements in DNA evidence, and for people who are STILL being exonerated. I met a death row exonoree two years ago and it changed my life. How the fuck would you feel after you've been on death row for over 18 years for a crime that you had absolutely nothing to do with?
30. Because people still use religion as a reason to harm other people.
31. Female genital mutilation.
32. Because so many people don't even know that there are conflicts and civil wars currently happening that people do not know about.
33. People still think that only gay men can contract and spread HIV/AIDS.
34. Because I have been called a nigger in my lifetime. I was three, and it was by my three-year-old white best friend who, by the way, was the daughter of a preacher.
35. Because even if I didn't know gay people, I'd still have sense enough to know that they are people.
36. Because minorities are disproportionately affected by the recession.
37. Because when I began typing "Black people" in my google search, the first prediction was "Black people jokes". Word?

38. Women only gained the right to vote in 1920. That's less than 100 years ago.
39. Rosa Parks was not the first or only arrested for refusing to give her seat up to white people; she's just the most famous. If it weren't for the others, though, Rosa wouldn't have become such an influence. Believe that.
40. Because of police brutality.
41. Because people who take rape jokingly are laughing all the way to to bank, while you're broke and laughing at their tv shows.
42. Violence against women starts young and often goes unreported.
43. Because being involved with something positive is the right thing to do.
44. Activists and advocates live longer because they feel as though they have something to stick around for.
45. Thousands of people are killed by drunk drivers every year.
46. Because life is beautiful; how do you know how good yours is if you don't know how bad it has the potential to be?
47. To be someone's role model. I love feeling like I've inspired someone, and it's an even better feeling when they tell you that you have.
48. To be remembered when your time is up.
49. Because democracy is defined by nearly every source who knows the word as: a political government either carried out directly by the people or by means of elected representatives of the people.
50. Because if you don't stand for something, you're bound to fall for anything. And fighting doesn't have to be physical to make an impact.

Be Righteous.

Lean. Mean. Homophobic. Machines.

While I have spent some time in private school, I've majorly spent my educational career in the good old public school system, and I happen to think that I turned out okay. As a matter of fact, my high school was semi-new (I was the fourth or fifth graduating class) when I was enrolled, and it was one of the highest ranked schools in the country for most of its programs, though recently there has been debate about whether it should have it's magnet status pulled. In the last ten years, it's gone from the perceived public Ivy League to Dangerous Minds. As a matter of fact, I'm very good friends with a teacher there, and a student recently interrupted her class and beat a girl with a hammer. Yes, a hammer.

I started elementary in private school, and when my parents became dissatisfied with that, I switched to public school (and ultimately repeated kindergarden because of accredidation issues -- but since I was early, it wasn't a major set back). I was an early learner, always aced spelling tests and began reading novels at an early age because my dad made me begin reading newspaper articles before school when I was 6 or so. Third grade they were interested in skipping me but my mother was more interested in my being properly socialized, and as such was certainly in no hurry to move me toward the awkward time known in everyone's life as middle school. My parents made into a machine: school, leisure reading, basketball, ballet, tap-dancing, writing, reading Romeo and Juliet for school in the fourth grade, learning religion, excelling in foreign language, breaking me out of my shyness by appearing in talent shows and theatre productions, and having my school friends and my neightborhood friends. I loved my parents for this push to become a prodigy, but eventually the pressure that I was under became very much ingrained in the way I perceived myself and success.

Middle school I began at a private school and, again, transferred to public school. High school, I was publicly schooled all four years as a result of my being wait-listed for the prestigious science and math private school my junior year; this devastated me, especially because another girl in my school actually got into the school but would later transfer back to our public high school as a result of the other kids having back-alley abortions and taking drugs in order to feel successful. I eventually became grateful for staying at my school, and very proud of every opportunity I had, including being in the top two highest ranked choirs in the school, performing in state-wide competitions, being invited to sing at Carnegie Hall...and most importantly, I felt educated and unafraid to opine toward my teachers since a few of them felt as if I were too smart and active for my own good (smirk). I eventually decided to repeat the cycle of my education one more time and begin at a private school (since I was given scholarships), and I ended up transferring twice and graduating from a public university on time.

At any rate, I know that not every where is as lucky or successful as the public school system in which I was raised. Especially in relatively big cities and metropolitan areas. I do believe my cousins have spent the majority of their upbringing in private schooling, and in a sense I am grateful for that; I am semi-close with some people that were locally raised and I've heard horror stories of their upbringing in school both directly from them, and indirectly through their abilities to maintain a healthy, and "smart" conversation.

I think that private school provides a certain sense of social elitism, and that is a downside. However, I hope and pray(?) that kids enrolled in private academies learn what they need in order to grow appropriately socialized first, and secondly (but equally important) a lover of education. I don't have kids, and I often emphasize that fact when sharing my opinions about them. I think it's very easy for me to say what I would or wouldn't do in terms of parenting, and maybe that isn't fair.

Last night, my twelve-year-old cousin and I were sitting around being silly, and in our mindless banter, she asked if I would rather be one thing, or gay. I asked her if gay was supposed to be a pejorative, and I told her that she shouldn't use it negatively. I felt like this was my duty as the cool older cousin (and just someone who believes in doing the right thing). She replied, "well, all the gay people and lesbians and bisexuals aren't going to heaven. Did you know that? Because God says it's Adam and Eve and not Adam and Steve." My cousins don't know that I am a mostly non-theist because while living under my aunt and uncle's roof, I think that the respectful thing to do is to allow them to raise their children the way that they see fit. It isn't a closeted thing with me; as a matter of fact, my aunt and I discussed religion just yesterday. I have no qualms discussing what I believe with people, but having two pre-teen girls is difficult enough in their adolescent rebellion and I think that I'd rather aid the transition than encourage deliberate disobedience when they don't even know why they believe what they believe.

I responded with my adult authority and plainly said, "Stop repeating things that you hear people say and do your chores." She responded with, "I didn't hear anyone say it, I read it. In the Bible."

I had to take a deep breath and woosa. It's saddening to me. Is she learning this in private school? Does she think that this is right? Has she researched anything beyond the surface? I'm afraid that private school is turning my little cousins into lean, mean, homophobic machines. I know better than to engage and argument with a child, but I wish I had thought of something clever, like "did you know your new-found celebrity idol claims to be openly bisexual?" but I felt like this would create detriment in my point since I don't believe they should listen to Nicki Minaj, just for the sake of her explicit lyrics and the ditsy-white-girl imagery that she intends to create in the hearts of the little girls that are following her.

I wish I could reach them without feeling as though I'm stepping on anyone's toes. I think that the subtle pushes I'm giving them toward a more progressive mindset is a start, but is it enough?

If she were a little more mature, we could have had a more in depth and open discussion. Because I might not believe in virgin births or magical powers (beyond time travel..heh), but if Jesus were forrealforreal in my mind, I'd be in line with Sir Elton John. Oh, and he was Black.

Be Righteous.

10 Crack Commandments for Everyday Folk :)

Not too long ago, my sista-friend from Philly and I were riding in my truck on the way to a work luncheon (and a coworker who wasn't a hip-hop enthusiast was also riding in my backseat), and as soon as I cranked up, my hood-side came out: most early workdays, I listen to "Life After Death" for no particular reason at all. I'm a hip-hop head and I'm a really big Biggie fan. I confess.

Anyway, sista-friend was thrilled. We have such similar upbringings from the 'burbs-hood-'burbs upbringing to our general interests, and after moving from the 'burbs in Jersey to South Philly, she and I maintain a certain level of "street" (smile). When the "Ten Crack Commandments" came on, sista-friend posed a question that is soon to be answered in my translation: "Just think: how many of the 10 Crack Commandments do we use every single day?" I swear, after we vibed on that for a good little while, completely forgetting the company of the country music enthusiast in the backseat, our other coworker could have had a heart attack.

So, here are the "Ten Crack Commandments":

1. "Never let no one know how much dough you hold cause you know the cheddar breed jealousy..."
2. "Never let them know your nest move; don't you know bad boys move in silence or violence.."
3. "Never trust nobody, your moms will set that ass up properly gassed up.."
4. "I know you've heard this before: never get high on your own supply.."
5. "Never sell no crack where your rest at, I don't care if they want an ounce -- tell 'em bounce.."
6. "That goddamn credit, dead it. If you think a crack head's paying you back, forget it."
7. "This rule is completely underrated: keep your family and business completely separated.."
8. "Never keep no weight on you..."
9. "Should've been number one to me; if you ain't gettin' bagged stay the fuck from police..."
10. "If you ain't got the clientele say 'hell no'..'cause they gone want their money -- rain, sleet, hail, snow.."

Well, now..how on earth can educated people use this to their advantage, beyond slanging yayo to get through college? (Ain't no tuition for havin' no ambition, and ain't no loans for sittin' yo ass at home...Thank you, Kanye!) Allow me to translate:

1. Well, that one is pretty basic; don't brag. Jane Austen said: "Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us." Who are you trying to impress? Do for yourself and don't let your vanity be your downfall. And yes, I did just throw Jane Austen in the same post as the "Ten Crack Commandments".
2. Very similar to number one; don't go around putting your business in the street. I will admit that I am a lot more discrete about my personal life (feelings et al) than most people but it's for a reason: people can only attempt to tear you down with the information that is given to them. If they don't know your business, they won't know how to get to you! Yes, I'm talking to alllllllllll you facebookers who have to tell people every single little thing, and then go off on long-winded "F ALL YALL" facebook rants. Stop it, it's your fault.
3. I'm not the type of person that goes around parading that "I don't trust anyone" bit, because trust is essential in any form of human relations and there is very certainly a difference in being extremely distrustful and wise about giving information to people. However, I think that there are very different levels of trust. I've seen people's family turn them (and I've seen people do their families wrong)...and if you have the right person trying to ruin your foundation, they'll say anything to anybody to have them on their side.
4. What you have to offer other people, especially in terms of material things, shouldn't be what you use for yourself, because, eventually, there will be a conflict.
5. Don't do dirty work at the crib...people are capable of anything.
6. I definitely apply this to loaning things like money and anything else of "real" value. I don't believing in loaning anything that I wouldn't be willing to permanently part with because you never know when you'll see it again. If you aren't my mother, father, or brother, I highly doubt that I'll be allowing you to borrow any money, ever. And I'm the only person that drives my vehicle; if I'm drunk, I'll pay for a cab.
7. Keep your family and business separated. Business and pleasure, for that matter. Seriously. In my experience, the outcome is overwhelmingly negative.
8. If you're being secretive, be secretive. That's fine. But don't be openly secretive...because the people who want to get at you (see rule #2) are gonna be allllll up in your kool-aid trying to figure out the secret.
9. We all know about how Black folks feel about the police. I linked a video to a previous post called "Snitch Nigga, Bitch Nigga" that discusses it from a street perspective..ehh, not (always) my personal feeling. I like to apply this rule to anybody with a proven reputation in creating drama or participating in any sneaky type stuff.
10. Don't over-commit yourself and follow through with what you tell people you'll do. Don't make excuses; you create a situation for yourself and you have to pull through with it.
People aren't trying to mess with you if you're messing with certain people. I know I stay with a progressive mindset, and I'm not saying any of this is right. It is what it is.
Be righteous.

In Defense of Valentine's Day

I can't seem to get it to show entirely, but click the picture for the full image (and hopefully a Valentine's Day laugh!)

Most people know how I feel about consumerist holidays that, without proper knowledge, encourage only the good aspects and nothing about its true origins. I enjoy congregating with the ones I love and, I guess in a sense, that is "celebrating" for me. I don't claim to know everything about everything but I do like to research and, hopefully, understand what things really mean. After a conversation with my good friend Phlip yesterday, I got to thinking about Valentine's Day and whether/why it should be celebrated.

Apparently, Valentine's Day does have Christian roots in that it was named for "one or more" Christian martyrs with the name "Valentine" waybackwhen. However, as with certain other Christian holidays, Valentine's Day dates back to a Pagan holidayLupercalia, named for either "Lupa", shewolf of Rome who nursed Ramulus and Remus, or a Roman god of fertility. Lupercalia rituals included a feast of cakes, animal sacrifice, nakedness, and, well, things dealing with animal blood and women that supposedly symbolized or aided in fertility. Hoping to Christianize the Pagan holiday, Pope Gelacius I declared February 14th Valentine's Day, and, well...after other, sometimes violent, events over time, we have our holiday. [Fun fact: According to a slew of sources, Pope Gelacius I (evil and oppressive or not) was the third and last pope of disputable African origin.]

Check out this History.com video - it's only about 4 minutes long.
History of Valentine's Day

As a closeted romantic, the idea of love is of year round consumption. I think that if you have a wonderful beau or lady-friend, you should treat them wonderfully the entire year instead of making Valentine's Day your one day to deliver grand gestures for things you have yet to do the other 364 days. It's interesting to me, how people decide to bank on love one day a year, or being religious one day a year, or deciding to make big changes in their life one day of a year, simply for the sake of keeping that day meaningful. In the words of my good friend Phlip: "I don't believe in making up for fuckups, I believe in not fucking up." [sidenote: that is now two links to his blog..show him some love!:)]

Does that mean I hate flowers and romantic evenings on Valentine's Day?

Heckie nawww! I love getting gifts! As a matter of fact, my favorite flower is the midnight lily (it's a type of trumpet lily), I love white chocolate on days I'm less than concerned about my calorie count, and jewelry isn't really my thing (hey, I'm a little more a complicated lady than I put on..)! Okay, but seriously, as with any gift, I appreciate gifts from the heart much more than gifts for the sake of giving.

Okay, for real though. Let me stop kidding around; I hope all the love birds every where enjoy their Valentine's Day weekend. Make sure you're making it meaningful and not about the holiday itself; because, well, it really doesn't mean what you think it does. Be safe and wrap it up, because those Pagans were serious about those fertility rituals...

Darwin Day

It's International Darwin Day, a day commemorating the birthday of the father of evolutionist biology, Charles Darwin. As a nontheist/free-thinker (and a person who generally finds much validity in the ideas of evolutionary "theory"), I think that it's important to acknowledge the validity in scientific arguments, despite whether you believe in them or not. I can't say that my beliefs (or lack of beliefs in the religious majority's minds) have encouraged me toward evolution, because I do remember as a church-girl, back in the day, being fascinated with the idea of evolution. However, evolution is important because it does, in a sense, provide evidence for human origins.

I do know, however, from my own personal research that "scientists" have attempted to use science to prove their own agendas. I mean, it's true: from nature v. nurture, right down to eugenics and the Holocaust. One year while in undergrad, in contemplating a third minor (anthropology), I researched the biological justification of men being naturally impulsive sexual creatures and correlations in that argument an a then-new book about how male rapists "can't help it". The evil genius in me was very much interested in the subject, though it was more for kicks and giggles; the entire report spawned from an argument I had with an ex-boyfriend (barf) and, well, I got an A+ for my very original work in a class about Victimology. What can I say? (sheepish grin)

Did Darwin give any credit to, what is now known as, Social Darwinism? Could he have been racist? Sexist? I know that post-Darwin anthropologists have made insensitive claims on the basis of race and gender of "primitive" cultures...quite certainly, eugenics and ideas of the like are adaptations and personal interpretations of Darwin's original work, but what did he think of that? In researching Darwin, he did oppose racism, slavery, and the classification of human beings based on racial differences. As a Black woman, though, I think it's important to know and understand all aspects of the argument. Because an argument has valid points does not make it all completely true or valid (I mean, I think there are high points in every religion and I still don't buy into religious organizations).

Certainly, this requires more research than I can provide in my blog. It certainly is a question that cannot be missed or ignored; I personally am not sure that Darwin's original works were written as or intended to be racially insensitive. I'd like to do more research on the subject though.

Ah, but Happy Darwin Day! Evolutionist Theory is important...whether you buy into it or not. I'm going to make an effort to do more research on racism and sexism (or lack thereof) in his work.

Be Righteous.

Stupidity.

After recently having a conversation about my hyper-self consciousness in speaking to certain people out of concern for sounding less than intelligent and commenting on Sarah Palin's lack of intelligence in a post regarding her talking slick about our current administration, I stumbled upon a 2003 grade-B documentary called "Stupidity". It was released on The documentary channel in Canada, apparently, and in looking to maintain my sanity while snowed in, I decided to do some mental exercises; after all, the brain is a muscle.

Honestly, it was quite enjoyable. It begs the question of why stupidity is "cool" and qualities like intelligence (not to be confused with education) are viewed as less than desirable. Why are apparent simpletons the most successful? Absolutely something that I constantly consider given my upbringing and current situation.

I learned a lot watching this, and was genuinely amused by the documentary. As a matter of fact, having one of my two minors in Sociology, we discussed the topic in a course on the Sociology of Education. In the beginning of the documentary, people on the street were asked to define "stupidity" and words similar. As with any label, it always blows my mind when people use certain words, ideas, and definitions without knowing what they mean.

Cons: largely, my problem with the documentary was a point made in the beginning using Biblical characters as fact and history, but providing no bridge to our current societal state. Also, much of the movie talked around the point and I was left unsatisfied, like he never really got to what he wanted to say.

However, I absolutely enjoyed the point of the documentary. I think that it is important to illustrate and redefine intelligence as it relates to popularity and power. There was some information thrown in there, especially in the definition thrown in about the origin of the word "dunce" and how, at such an early point in society, the alienation of intelligence began and evolved into a characteristic currently revered as less than popular. Check it out sometime.

Be Righteous.

The Safe Negro Match-Maker

Well, I know it's quite silly to take a (two?) month haitus from a blog that just started, but my life is seemingly a perpetual state of chaos. I did think of quite a few things to share with the blog universe, but the opportunity to sit and unload my mind was just too far buried under the long work days (and nights), and the moves that I've been making.

The good news? I'm back!

Well, something that I've been most interested in sharing with the rest of the internet is a series of incidents that occured between myself and a white woman that I worked with at one of my several jobs. While I understand that "2010" doesn't necessarily translate to social intelligence any more than "1910", it always befuddles me when people make racially based assumptions about a person they barely know. What's more is that in "post-racial America", people are losing sight of what's actually appropriate .

So, said lady is an intern, actually, and an older woman. She was sent to various local restaurants in search of donations for an event, and when she came back, the conversation was as follows:

Intern: I found the perfect man for you.
Me: (awkwardly) oh?
Intern: Yes. He owns the Zaxby's around the corner, and he is...well -- just a really attractive Black man.
Me: (Not feeding into it) Umm..oh.
Intern: I mean, just an attractive Black man.
Me: Um, well. i'm..not...really...looking for...anything.
Intern: Man! I didn't look to see if he had on a wedding ring. I've been married for twenty-somethin' years, and so I just avoid peeking at that finger at all.

Pause.First set of assumptions: I'm young and single (and likely discontent with being so), and as such, I would love anybody to hook me up with any Black man they can find. Because I only like men, and only if they are Black.

Me: (Ignoring intern and completing notes)
Intern: (to nearly everyone in my part of the office) Guys, I found the perfect guy for Livication!
Me: (long sigh)
Intern: (to me) He drives a really nice SUV too.
Me: (trying to avoid being rude) Oh?
Intern: Yeah, a Jeep I think. None of those rims on it or anything.

Pause.Second set of assumptions: She should be praised and glorified for having found my soulmate, since all you have to do is put a Black man and woman in the room together for them to fall in love. And no rims? He's a safe negro and not a thug, so I'll love him. Regardless of my upbringing or general taste, my having a college education automatically makes me more attracted to Blair Underwood than Lil Weezy.

Me: Please...stop...
Intern: I mean, I'm telling you...he's got money because he owns a Zaxby's.
Me: Isn't Zaxby's a fastfood restaurant?
Intern: Yeah, but he's the owner of this one.
Me: (long sigh, and then under my breath) Well, you know how us coloreds love chicken..
Intern: Oh, and his name is Samuel; a good, strong, Biblical name.

Pause. Third set of assumptions and major fuckeduppedness: Fact - Black people enjoy chicken. They can enjoy free chicken together. Also, those Coloreds are intensely religious; I'm quite sure that the fact that his name is Biblical will sway her toward him. Religion is okay to discuss in the work place because we are all Christians! For the record, I am without any formal religious affiliation.

After this, I walked out of the room for a while. She did, however, encourage the rest of the (white) volunteers to discuss this because she felt she had done something great. Telling her to lay off didn't help, and going off on her would have encouraged the angry Black woman to come out.

I could not have made up something more bizarre. It was completely surreal in the most awful and awkward way. I mean, what the hell? What part of any of that was appropriate?

Becky: A Love Story

I find myself in a love-hate relationship with rap music, often confused with hip-hop, pop, or "good" music. I often find myself conflicted; in my ripe age of nearly twenty three years, I some[not-very-often]times enjoy going to a bar or club. Though, unless I have had a lot to drink, I prefer going to the lounges and "adult" (and not adult) spots.

I also have issues with things said and done within our any aspect of any culture without thinking about the origins or potential consequences. It especially troubles me when these things are sayings that have sexual meanings and I'll tell you why: it sends the wrong message about what we should be getting out of sex. I don't have a problem with sex; not oral, not anal, not "dirty talk", not three-ways, not any weird thing that people consensually do together.

You know what? I laugh at some pretty fucked up things, and I even make the most inappropriate jokes when my funny gene is operable. I like inappropriate television shows, but I call bullshit for what it is. There are things that people say without thinking just because they are understood (or not) to be far removed from their original meanings. Examples?

Well, I can go on and on; from the "rule of thumb", which originates from the idea that a man could beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb, to men naming their cars, boats, and other properties "feminine" names because it is as much his property as she. More extreme examples include the term "punishing" a woman's p..rivates, which only makes me question what exactly anyone has done to be "punished" in such a way, and "beating" the p..rivates up. Sexual violence anyone?

That said, I'd like to take this time to talk about "Becky". Yes, I'm going in..
"Becky", a name thought to be common among white folks, is a term for oral sex that is derived from the idea that white girls give the best oral sex, and easily. In my experiences as a member of the Black community, I've heard my share of prejudgments about white girls by Black men and women. "Becky", in my mind, promotes the idea that oral sex is associated with promiscuous white chicks who love Black men. You see, in my experiences, some concepts of white women are as extreme as the stigmatization of the Black brute - Black men waiting in the shadows to sexually victimize white women. White women lovvvve sucking Black p..rivates and they do it well.

I work part time as a shift leader at a market, and while most of my cashiers are high school kids, there are a few older-than-high-school-but-not-in-college folks. There is also a male cashier that the girls swoon over, who happens to be a college boy that tends to act like he belongs in high school with the other kids. He flirts with all the girls, myself included, and with all the salivation, you'd think he was much more than something nice to look at. At one point during our idle time tonight, he began singing the hook to the song "Becky" by Plies. Did I mention he was twenty five?

Now, I have my qualms with Plies and many, many other "artists", but you know, whenever I hear anyone mention or allude to "Becky", my stomach tightens, and not in a good way. Lyrics? Yes, please:

"I'm on this liquor oh so heavy
"Fo we fuck can you neck me
"A lil head and I am ready
"I want yo mouth give me that Becky"

Mr. Plies also says things like he can't engage in intercourse with certain women because her p..rivates have "too many miles" (jezebel stereotype, anyone?). Also, he wants to marry "Becky", and if a girl doesn't "do Becky" then she can get to steppin'. Besides the fact that the song maybekindamight be another means of putting Black women (and all women, undoubtedly) down, why is this even...popular? How do white girls feel, being associate with giving "neck"? What does this say about how we are culturally sexualized? Our misconceptions and prejudices? Is anyone even thinking about this?

When I spoke to my seventeen-year-old-acting-twenty-five-year-old coworker, I told him that it was inappropriate, to which he responded, "psssh, inappropriate? Girl, that's a part of growing up!"
Growing up? I don't have an anti-oral agenda. I know what I like to give and receive, and it doesn't really require explanation except to an involved party. If people want to talk about it, fine. I actually enjoy having sexual conversations, but not at the interest of coming up with names for my sexual activities. [Aside, one of my best friends is a white man, with whom I have never engaged in sexual activity, but can discuss anything with him. Apparently, there's a rumor going around that Black men don't participate in giving oral sex. I think that my previous partners missed the memo..]

Further, I wonder what people would think if women ran around saying "gimmie dat Rayshawn"?

But really, if I was dating a nice upstanding gentleman and he proclaimed "gimmie dat Becky!" while in the throws of passion, I wouldn't be concerned with anything other than getting him out and not off.
I'm just sayin'...