Thursday, February 18, 2010

10 Crack Commandments for Everyday Folk :)

Not too long ago, my sista-friend from Philly and I were riding in my truck on the way to a work luncheon (and a coworker who wasn't a hip-hop enthusiast was also riding in my backseat), and as soon as I cranked up, my hood-side came out: most early workdays, I listen to "Life After Death" for no particular reason at all. I'm a hip-hop head and I'm a really big Biggie fan. I confess.

Anyway, sista-friend was thrilled. We have such similar upbringings from the 'burbs-hood-'burbs upbringing to our general interests, and after moving from the 'burbs in Jersey to South Philly, she and I maintain a certain level of "street" (smile). When the "Ten Crack Commandments" came on, sista-friend posed a question that is soon to be answered in my translation: "Just think: how many of the 10 Crack Commandments do we use every single day?" I swear, after we vibed on that for a good little while, completely forgetting the company of the country music enthusiast in the backseat, our other coworker could have had a heart attack.

So, here are the "Ten Crack Commandments":

1. "Never let no one know how much dough you hold cause you know the cheddar breed jealousy..."
2. "Never let them know your nest move; don't you know bad boys move in silence or violence.."
3. "Never trust nobody, your moms will set that ass up properly gassed up.."
4. "I know you've heard this before: never get high on your own supply.."
5. "Never sell no crack where your rest at, I don't care if they want an ounce -- tell 'em bounce.."
6. "That goddamn credit, dead it. If you think a crack head's paying you back, forget it."
7. "This rule is completely underrated: keep your family and business completely separated.."
8. "Never keep no weight on you..."
9. "Should've been number one to me; if you ain't gettin' bagged stay the fuck from police..."
10. "If you ain't got the clientele say 'hell no'..'cause they gone want their money -- rain, sleet, hail, snow.."

Well, on earth can educated people use this to their advantage, beyond slanging yayo to get through college? (Ain't no tuition for havin' no ambition, and ain't no loans for sittin' yo ass at home...Thank you, Kanye!) Allow me to translate:

1. Well, that one is pretty basic; don't brag. Jane Austen said: "Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us." Who are you trying to impress? Do for yourself and don't let your vanity be your downfall. And yes, I did just throw Jane Austen in the same post as the "Ten Crack Commandments".
2. Very similar to number one; don't go around putting your business in the street. I will admit that I am a lot more discrete about my personal life (feelings et al) than most people but it's for a reason: people can only attempt to tear you down with the information that is given to them. If they don't know your business, they won't know how to get to you! Yes, I'm talking to alllllllllll you facebookers who have to tell people every single little thing, and then go off on long-winded "F ALL YALL" facebook rants. Stop it, it's your fault.
3. I'm not the type of person that goes around parading that "I don't trust anyone" bit, because trust is essential in any form of human relations and there is very certainly a difference in being extremely distrustful and wise about giving information to people. However, I think that there are very different levels of trust. I've seen people's family turn them (and I've seen people do their families wrong)...and if you have the right person trying to ruin your foundation, they'll say anything to anybody to have them on their side.
4. What you have to offer other people, especially in terms of material things, shouldn't be what you use for yourself, because, eventually, there will be a conflict.
5. Don't do dirty work at the crib...people are capable of anything.
6. I definitely apply this to loaning things like money and anything else of "real" value. I don't believing in loaning anything that I wouldn't be willing to permanently part with because you never know when you'll see it again. If you aren't my mother, father, or brother, I highly doubt that I'll be allowing you to borrow any money, ever. And I'm the only person that drives my vehicle; if I'm drunk, I'll pay for a cab.
7. Keep your family and business separated. Business and pleasure, for that matter. Seriously. In my experience, the outcome is overwhelmingly negative.
8. If you're being secretive, be secretive. That's fine. But don't be openly secretive...because the people who want to get at you (see rule #2) are gonna be allllll up in your kool-aid trying to figure out the secret.
9. We all know about how Black folks feel about the police. I linked a video to a previous post called "Snitch Nigga, Bitch Nigga" that discusses it from a street perspective..ehh, not (always) my personal feeling. I like to apply this rule to anybody with a proven reputation in creating drama or participating in any sneaky type stuff.
10. Don't over-commit yourself and follow through with what you tell people you'll do. Don't make excuses; you create a situation for yourself and you have to pull through with it.
People aren't trying to mess with you if you're messing with certain people. I know I stay with a progressive mindset, and I'm not saying any of this is right. It is what it is.
Be righteous.


  1. this was a great post. mixing austen and biggie...classic!

  2. I'm just sayin'..some things are universal.
    Thanks for reading! :)